comes the 4th part, which I write not under the influence of drugs or alcohol or narcotics or m * ointments, but under the influence of a strong emotional feelings.
Anyway, I hope you like it q. Then I do a post with the index to quickly find the next chapter.
go to part 3
go to part 2
go to Part 1
Chapter 4: Of Love and obsessions
My world began to change, see the things differently, people no longer looked at in the same way and all around me noticed that I behaved differently. Starting with my girlfriend.
- What is it? litter very seriously ... you are not as kind to me, "she said with some degree of sadness in his voice. And I really understand your feeling aq was due to "no longer be loved" and the reason is that I used to be very sickly with it.
was always holding her, telling her how much he loved her, carried her and let her gently on a chair or the cool grass at twilight, whispered sweet words in my ear, even while sleeping, but I knew I could hear perfectly, because although their eyes were closed, his mouth was smiling sweetly. His hazel eyes sparkled when she saw me and my eyes looked at her with such tenderness that many people seem corny, but for me, my only world, my only light, it was her, and my only food was the love we felt for one another. So beautiful and perfect
was the world to me when I was at his side, all my troubles were finished with a smile of his, with a warm glance or a loving kiss your lips would give me. Was everything to me, and I was all for it. But suddenly things changed and the charm that caused me with his mere presence had vanished, leaving behind a wave of wonderful memories of all the times we had together and now were only part of a past that he was sure would never, because things would not equal what I felt was no longer the same.
- Is what I no longer want? Tell me what you did? What failed? - The tears sprang under his eyelids and stay in their eyes, without bursting. No flickering, just stared at me with those hazel eyes which had fallen before me beyond reason, and now the tears were shining more than usual. His mouth was not smiling and his parched lips emitted only small sighs filled with pain and sadness.
not answered.
- I want to know! "I said with a voice that sounds more than sad, it sounded angry, but while preserving the volume previously employed - What happened? What made you change overnight? Do not tell me you have another! - As he said this sentence, all the pain that was reached to perceive in his words was replaced by an air of anger and disappointment.
- No! I have no other, and stop talking nonsense, what happens is that I do not feel well, and boy does not feel right.
"Tell me what I can do to cheer? - Hope highlighted in his words.
"Nothing ... simply, nothing, "I said turning his gaze to a nearby tree. We had several weeks to meet in the park and never noticed that little tree. "I have sown yesterday," I said to myself trying to distract my mind and straying from the topic of conversation, but I was inebitable ignore the girl he had shared so much and so many great moments. - I think I've done all that was within your reach, and you really appreciate it, but now I ask you to leave me alone.
And the tears finally broke down and blinking her eyes, her long lashes were wet, and every drop of sadness running down her cheeks leaving a trail negrizo was the makeup that is carried with it slowly.
I could not see her eyes, got up without saying a word and left it there in that park where we saw for the first time a kiss full of pure love, in the park where the sun always shone and there was a warm and nice that all the crossing out there put in a good mood. Sitting, sad, his face full of doubt and fear, alone, in that white banks with the logo of the delegation where he used to lie on my lap while I stroked her hair and where I used to lean against her lap as she arruyaba with sweet voice and tender words.
not look back, I said to myself, but it was not necessary. I had no desire to look back. But there was something wrong inside me, or rather, there was nothing. He knew he had hurt someone, and yet felt no guilt, no pain, no remorse.
previously had hurt many people, but the pain produced other was always reciprocal, and sometimes even hurt me the most knowing that another person had been my fault.
What was it that made me change?
From that day on the subway could only think about having things. Phones, video games, computers, everything that in any way meant so much to me to the point of eating away my soul and move the feelings that lived inside of me, changing them into a great void that could only be filled not by love or by hatred, the pain would not for that, what he wanted, or rather, what is now needed was happiness, happiness that could only be obtained through objects materials hardly knew could get. And that knowledge, knowing that you can not really achieve what you want, what you need, what really could become a whole being able to say "I am happy", the mere thought of not being able to have or not have the resources to achieve it, it felt so frustrating that made almost all my emotions are froze.
And there were, in some dark corner of my soul, love, generosity, a desire to help others, the motivation to do everything willingly and to the best of me, and even the pain of knowing that had lost one of the people he loved. All this left by the wayside in a huge block of ice fed by water from the tears that the people around me shed my fault and maintained by the cold of my worldly desires and my ambition to own more and more things that many had little spiritual value, but for me, had become the whole.
- What is it? litter very seriously ... you are not as kind to me, "she said with some degree of sadness in his voice. And I really understand your feeling aq was due to "no longer be loved" and the reason is that I used to be very sickly with it.
was always holding her, telling her how much he loved her, carried her and let her gently on a chair or the cool grass at twilight, whispered sweet words in my ear, even while sleeping, but I knew I could hear perfectly, because although their eyes were closed, his mouth was smiling sweetly. His hazel eyes sparkled when she saw me and my eyes looked at her with such tenderness that many people seem corny, but for me, my only world, my only light, it was her, and my only food was the love we felt for one another. So beautiful and perfect
was the world to me when I was at his side, all my troubles were finished with a smile of his, with a warm glance or a loving kiss your lips would give me. Was everything to me, and I was all for it. But suddenly things changed and the charm that caused me with his mere presence had vanished, leaving behind a wave of wonderful memories of all the times we had together and now were only part of a past that he was sure would never, because things would not equal what I felt was no longer the same.
- Is what I no longer want? Tell me what you did? What failed? - The tears sprang under his eyelids and stay in their eyes, without bursting. No flickering, just stared at me with those hazel eyes which had fallen before me beyond reason, and now the tears were shining more than usual. His mouth was not smiling and his parched lips emitted only small sighs filled with pain and sadness.
not answered.
- I want to know! "I said with a voice that sounds more than sad, it sounded angry, but while preserving the volume previously employed - What happened? What made you change overnight? Do not tell me you have another! - As he said this sentence, all the pain that was reached to perceive in his words was replaced by an air of anger and disappointment.
- No! I have no other, and stop talking nonsense, what happens is that I do not feel well, and boy does not feel right.
"Tell me what I can do to cheer? - Hope highlighted in his words.
"Nothing ... simply, nothing, "I said turning his gaze to a nearby tree. We had several weeks to meet in the park and never noticed that little tree. "I have sown yesterday," I said to myself trying to distract my mind and straying from the topic of conversation, but I was inebitable ignore the girl he had shared so much and so many great moments. - I think I've done all that was within your reach, and you really appreciate it, but now I ask you to leave me alone.
And the tears finally broke down and blinking her eyes, her long lashes were wet, and every drop of sadness running down her cheeks leaving a trail negrizo was the makeup that is carried with it slowly.
I could not see her eyes, got up without saying a word and left it there in that park where we saw for the first time a kiss full of pure love, in the park where the sun always shone and there was a warm and nice that all the crossing out there put in a good mood. Sitting, sad, his face full of doubt and fear, alone, in that white banks with the logo of the delegation where he used to lie on my lap while I stroked her hair and where I used to lean against her lap as she arruyaba with sweet voice and tender words.
not look back, I said to myself, but it was not necessary. I had no desire to look back. But there was something wrong inside me, or rather, there was nothing. He knew he had hurt someone, and yet felt no guilt, no pain, no remorse.
previously had hurt many people, but the pain produced other was always reciprocal, and sometimes even hurt me the most knowing that another person had been my fault.
What was it that made me change?
From that day on the subway could only think about having things. Phones, video games, computers, everything that in any way meant so much to me to the point of eating away my soul and move the feelings that lived inside of me, changing them into a great void that could only be filled not by love or by hatred, the pain would not for that, what he wanted, or rather, what is now needed was happiness, happiness that could only be obtained through objects materials hardly knew could get. And that knowledge, knowing that you can not really achieve what you want, what you need, what really could become a whole being able to say "I am happy", the mere thought of not being able to have or not have the resources to achieve it, it felt so frustrating that made almost all my emotions are froze.
And there were, in some dark corner of my soul, love, generosity, a desire to help others, the motivation to do everything willingly and to the best of me, and even the pain of knowing that had lost one of the people he loved. All this left by the wayside in a huge block of ice fed by water from the tears that the people around me shed my fault and maintained by the cold of my worldly desires and my ambition to own more and more things that many had little spiritual value, but for me, had become the whole.
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